70th Post

Today isn't over, but I can't help but to talk about it.

It was soooo much fun.

English was fun, i chatted on webcam with Hayley.

Then went to McDonalds with Candice,

and then came back and hungout with Melissa and Emily. 

After that I had Math, and basically just txted people all class.

Then i drove to scott's, and we went to Toys R Us, and played Guitar Hero 4.

It was alright I guess, i liked it. I played the drums, so it took some getting use to.

After that we got Scott a mask, and we went back home and hungout

I guess I am leaving stuff out,

but just know it was fun,

and i hope it stays this fun alllllll weekend. :)

Today

I feel like writing alot,

but at the same time,

i'm so exhausted and would rather just chill out and go to bed.

today was...

a mixture of

homework

with a dash of happiness

with a dash of schoolwork,

with a dash of tacobell and laughter,

and a dash of being worried with fear,

and a dose of laughter

hunger,

and a sprinkle of being hyper,

and a splash of fun.

there.

that was my day :)

:D

So today was uber cold and rainy. I got assigned a new essay, which I dont mind, because it is a contrast essay. I chose to contrast Metal music to Country music, so it should be easy. I skipped my freshman seminar class. I HATE that class so much. I didnt do any of the work, so i'll just turn it in the day after tomorrow and apologize to him for not making it. Instead of going to class, Candice and I went to the mall. I got a new shirt, and i got Alysha's present. I hope she isnt expecting something huge, i just know it's something that she wanted. I might get her a card or something too. Money is so tight with my family these days! So after the mall, we went back to college and I went to my math class. We waited, and waited. My math teacher didn't show up after fifteen minutes so we all signed a paper saying that she didnt show up, and we left. I came home and played some wii sports with my brother, and then i hungout on my laptop for a while. My sister txts me and says to go to pizza hut with her, so I did. When we got there, the lady walks up to the table and says "Hey Ladies! OH GAWD, YOU ARE A BOY, I AM SO SORRY. ONE TIME I GOT MY HAIR CUT, AND EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS BOY, AND OMG!!" she felt really bad, and fucked up our order each time, but she was still really nice. Everyone has their days. So after that, my sister talked with me in the car and said that if i be Jeffree Star for Halloween, she would pay for everything. I agreed, since I didnt have any money for a costume. She drove to shoprite, and I talked to Alysha in the car on my phone. I also played I Spy with my niece. After that, my sister goes to the halloween store, and starts buying jeffree star stuff. Fake eyelashes, and a pink wig, and tattoo sleeves. We also went to the other halloween store to get stuff, and ohai, now i am here. :)

I guess that is it.

My brother is making us go to school early since he has to be there early. It doesn't bother me, i like getting out of the house. I'll update tomorrow night probably :)

Thoughts Came Into My Head?

Times are seeming brighter, at least when the sun is up.

I feel there is darkness creeping up.

One, Two, Three friends gone.

All my fault.

Times are almost returning to how they were last year.

Which is scary.

I hate this feeling.

I almost cannot describe it.

It makes me want to almost run away.

I call it the emptiness.

It is starting to creep into me again.

I really dont want that.

Tonight i "mouthed off" to my father,

and I really bad for it.

He asked me like three times if this dance i'm going to in december is a "School Sponsored Event" and I sarcastically said "No, it's a drunken party in the woods" and he picked up a stapler, and almost threw it at me. Then he charged at me, like he was going to kick me, and I curled up in a ball and braced myself. He didnt. He walked and got the phone. He then walked away and said "You piss me off? You'll see what will happen. You're not 18 yet, I can still be in your business." So now I see something in my future being cancelled for mouthing off. This whole "Being 18" is probably going to be not what I expected. I expect me to go get my ears pierced and my lip done. But now that I think about it, I know that's not going to happen. I'm sure by then that i'll get enough money to do it and stuff, but i'm still going to be living under my parents roof, and everything that is mine, really is there's. The car, the house, my computers, everything is technically there's. If i came home like that, they'd take away everything. 

I still feel really bad for mouthing off to my dad... He wont even let me apologize to him. I hugged him and said "I'm probably going to bed soon, i love you" and he just doesn't hug me back and says "no you don't." That really hurt, but i'm sure that I hurt him too. Fuck my freshman orientation homework, my eyes are so dry right now.

When will I ever be free?

Silence in Black and White.

"And the shadow of the day,

will embrace the world in gray."

Today was really fun. School went by fast, and I had alot of fun hanging out with my friends. I decided that when I feel like it, i'm doing a song quote and a picture from today. The reason why today was fun was because i got home, and my friend is mad at me. Other than that though, things are great. I got to hangout with Ryan and Alysha's mom today at the tennis match. I miss my highschool friends alot. Hopefully i'll get to see them more this weekend. I am buying alysha her birthday presents tomorrow, she is going to like them, i know it :). 

I'm slightly worried how tomorrow is going to go. I need to do the trash in the morning, and it isnt my fun day. It's boring English and Math. I have to miss Nicole's last tennis match, which they are fun to go there because i love hanging out with Ryan and other people.

I guess I am just blabbing.

I'll stop now.

sunday

today wasnt that bad,

it was better than my lastnight.

i really dont even know what to say, i'm really tired, and hopefully going to bed soon.

Christmas isn't coming this year

That's what i was told an hour ago.

No xbox 360 i guess.

i asked my dad if i could at least get something pierced, because i really want to,

and he yelled at me,

and we got in a big arguement.

i hate looking at me in the mirror.

Mega Blog Update =O

Wow... I just decided to look up this dream that has been bothering me...

I was with my friend and his dad, and he had this skin infection, and it was little slits on him, and puss was coming out, and i got the skin infection too when i stole his car, but i brought it back.

I looked up this for "skin infection"

and this is what was interpreted

"To dream that your skin is covered with rashes or other skin deformity, signifies your fear in facing a harsh reality. This may also be a pun to indicate that you are making a rash decision. "

The stealing, is

"To dream that you are stealing, denotes that you are deprived and where the stealing takes place  (at home, the office, at school....) is indicative of your neediness. Alternatively, it may signify unrealized and unfulfilled goals. You may have set your goals too high."

Also in my dream, there was a concert across the street.

To dream that you are at a concert, represents harmony and cooperation in a situation or relationship of your waking life. You are experiencing an uplift in your spirits.

That also makes sense, because

A) That concert is tomorrow

B) I have felt that this week has been very good and positive.

I am almost scared to dream.

Everytime I itch, i think of that skin disease,

and how nasty it looked and how much it hurt.

And now that i see what it means,

i know how much i hate to face this one reality.

The Stealing? I'm not too sure of.

I'll have to give that one some thinking.

I have felt lately that I dont get to do much,

and that all my friends have money and I dont.

So maybe that is what it means?

This makes me so interested in dreams.

I think if I have anymore crazy dreams like this,

I'm definetly going to look them up and post them here.

I'm the only one out of my friend's that updates this thing anymore.

I am watching Spiderman 3 right now.

Random late night feeling that are bothering me and keeping me up.

Scott's house is so warm right now, and my house is so freezing.

It's nice to not freeze, so i think i am slightly enjoying being warm, and that's why i'm up, besides being bothered with my thoughts.

I'd say that today was a very good friday.

I hungout with Scott and Jeff, and had fun.

Tomorrow is that big Anthony Green concert, but I highly doubt that I am going to make it.

I hope everyone who does go has an awesome time though.

Tomorrow is probably going to be boring, and cold. 

My dad is picking me up in five hours from scott's for breakfast.

I really should be sleeping, but i am just not tired at all.

I guess I am going to stop writing,

i could write and write forever sometimes,

this would be one of the times.

Coldddd

I'm not really digging this cold weather.

Waking up in my house because i am freezing to sit there and shake is not fun at all.

Things are getting better thing.

Something's building up though,

and i hate bottling it up.

That's it though.

Just know things are good,

and something's building up.

Wig in a Box.

Gary said i dont make good posts like i use to, hahaha

i should start a collum like family guy.

YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS??

THAT LINSEY LOHAN

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO CALL ME LINDSEY?

ARE WE TOGETHER OR WHAT? 

haha :D

I guess i do just complain about my life.

and I really need to do that one picture a day thing.

spice up my blog a little or something.

i just tried to do it,

but oh well

i'll try it again tomorrow.

Anyways,

today was good.

and, i guess that's it :)

Finally, A Good Day

Today was really good.

I got to school, and ate lunch with Candice and Janay.

Right after that i had English, which at first, i was scared because we had to get into groups to do a project. But i ended up finding a group, so I was really happy.

After that, I hungout outside on my laptop and waited for freshman orientation class.

i fell asleep twice during it, it's so boring.

after that, i hungout with candice in the cafeteria, and then went to math class.

after math josh picked up me and candice and took us to starbucks.

candice had a giftcard so she payed, it was nice of her.

After that we went back to school and then went to this college fair.

I saw ALOT of people there that i missed.

Brook, Shamera, Melissa NJ, Nicole, and others.

I'm glad i saw them.

Even Ryan came!

After that, i showed Nicole and Christina around the college, and i took them to the Fine and Performing Arts building.

They got to meet my brother and his friends, and they were SO HYPER

OMG, they were singing and freaking out and stuff

it was hilarious.

i'm bummed that the rocky horror show is cancelled.

I was going to be Riff Raff.

Anywayssss

after that, i walked nicole to her car, and then josh saw me and decided to pick me up and take me to my car so i didnt have to walk in the cold, lol.

that was nice of him,

candice has a good man, lol.

i guess that is it.

i'm hopefully going over nicole's tomorrow afterschool.

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

Why?

Such a Lonely Day Shouldn't Exist.

So even though yesterday was amazing,

today was very uneventful.

I sat around all day and did nothing but stayed on the computer and ate pizza.

I wish i could get piercings really badly.

It really sucks that I can't.

I'm getting bored with my appearence

and i'm tired of dying my hair,

so i want to go for body modification now,

but my parents wont let me.

This weekend I also noticed that I have no good looking winter clothes. 

They are all just ugly sweaters that are plain and stuff.

I guess that's it for today.

I REALLY REALLY hope tomorrow goes better.

I need to stop slacking

So, Friday was Third Friday.

At first, I really wasn't planning on going to it,

but people were calling me asking if I was going and stuff, 

so i decided to go.

I hung out at Scott's house first, and then went to third friday, then back to scott's house, and then home. Matt had his friend's over, and as soon as I got there, they were all walking outside to start the camp fire, which was ALOT of fun. It's starting to get too cold to do them though, so I think that was our last one.

TODAY,

Oh My God, can we say... EPIC???

It was just so amazing.

I went to Six Flags Great Adventure with my brother's friends.

We had so much fun. 

The ride there was alot of fun,

but when we got there,

the first thing you could see almost ANYWHERE no matter what in the park, was Kingda Ka.

I sadly didnt get to go on it, but I got some nice pictures that i'll upload later.

It looked so magnificent, and i'm sad i didnt get to ride it :(

the first thing we did was hit Nitro.

Me, Brenna, Analisa, and Amanda rode front row for it.

After that, we decided to hit El Torro.

It was a long line, but SOOOOO worth it.

While waiting in line for El Torro, we were playing random theater games, because almost everyone there was a theater major except for me and another person I think. 

El Torro was SO FAST! 

I could not believe how fast it was,

even going up the chain pull hill was so fast!

After that, we decided to go on the Dark Knight.

Which, the Dark Knight is themed with like the Joker and stuff from that movie.

Well, i'd give the ride a 4 out of 10. The theme and stuff was awesome, but the ride SUCKED! 

I expected so much more. 

Anyways, after that we ate food at the Panda Express.

It tasted so good!

Then we went on SUPERMAN: THE ULTIMATE FLIGHT.

When I went on it five years ago, I was scared on it,

but this time, It was so much fun. 

It really felt like I was flying,

and I have to say that if I could have one superpower, it'd be flying.

After superman it was around 11:00, park closing time,

but we managed to get on this one simulation ride that was so much fun, and way better than the dark knight. Look at myself, i'm not even capitalizing the name of that ride!

After that we went the parking lot, waited FOREVER to get out of the park.

But it was fun, because we were all laughing and talking in the car. 

I forgot to mention we took two cars there. Well.. WE DID.

We went to McDonalds, ordered some food, and then headed for our journey home.

The only things i'm disappointed about is not going on Kingda Ka, ANDDDD, NOT BUYING THESE PINK SHUTTER SHADES I SAW!! I WAS SO MAD THAT I DIDNT GET THEM AND WISH I WENT BACK THERE AND DID.

I'm sad.

I hope it's not,

but it felt like this was my last time hanging out with my brother's friends,

and I think they are really cool, and i'm sad, because I like them.

I'm sure i'll get to hangout with them again though.

As i've probably said before,

I live my life looking forward to good things,

and now I can't really think of things to look forward to.

Like, event-wise.

I guess Alysha's party is the only thing I can think of.

I highly doubt i'm going to be making it to the Anthony Green concert.

I was talking to my friend Candice today, and she said that I cursed the weather. I was complaining to her how hot it was at college thursday, and now it's so freakin cold. 

So i guess blame me. =/

Well, this is it for now,

I really did not expect to come home and write all of this,

but I really wanted to get things out.

thanks for listening to me :)

=O

I forgot to post in two days, and I'm really sorry!

Night before last, was pretty bad.

The day was good, but the night didnt go so well.

Yesterday went pretty good.

Nothing phenomenal, but it was good.

Today was good too.

Except, Math class wasnt too good.

I started to get anxiety.

She started to do geometry,

and I failed geometry twice in highschool, so i started to panic.

But as things progressed, they got better.

I just need to memorize my formulas and stuff.

Jumping to something worth venting about...

My mom made this HUGE big deal about me going to Scott's house afterschool. I go there all the time on Thursdays after class! Anyways when I got home after Scott's my dad said "You didnt ask me if i could go to scott's" and i'm like "uhhhhhhhhhh, i asked mom, and she didnt care" and he was like "well from now on, i dont want you going ANYWHERE monday through thursdays, maybe you can go places on friday, but otherwise no." FIRST, he tells me "No sleepovers saturday with friends, only thursdays and fridays" So, i was mad, but i accepted it. Then he says that??? I can't believe it. He has complete control over me. THEN, my sister is going on about how she wants to dye my hair all black. I said i'd think about it, but, I HATE having my hair look "normal" as they call it, I'M NOT FUCKING NORMAL. I will never be normal. And the more and more they controll me, the crazier I will be when I finally break my chains. Seven months till i'm 18... But even then, will I be free? I really hope so. I really wouldn't mind dying my hair black, and piercing my lip. That would be fun.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I hate not being able to express myself. It really sucks. I want to look what I want to look like, not what my parents want me to look like. 

I dont know what else to say I guess,

i'm so frustrated.

I hope this weekend turns out good.

Update.

I wanted to update this so if anyone saw my previous post, they didnt think i was in peril or depressed.

After my dad and I got into the argument, things got better, and lightened up.

Tonight i have stayed up extra hours that I could be sleeping talking to my friend Christina. They are definetly not wasted hours though. I am talking alot with her, and it's making me happy, lol. We are talking of personal stuff, and our past.

I have been thinking lately.

And I talked to Sammy about this too.

It seems like no matter how many new friends I meet,

they never compare to the ones that I am missing right now.

And if any of my new friends are reading this (Which I highly doubt), dont let that discourage you. You guys are still amazing, and I love you, but I miss my old friends terribly. And if I ever had to choose between me new ones and old ones, and i'd hold onto you both, because i could never make a decision like that. I hope my friendships just keep on growing and growing, and none dwindle away. I guess hanging out with so many of my old friends at the harvest festival made me miss them. I've been hanging out with my college friends so much, that I forgot what it's like to be with them.

Today was good.

My dad actually let nicole pick me up and drive me,

it was rediculous.

Like, not rediculous in a bad way,

but a good way.

I can't believe he let her do that.

My dad lets NO ONE drive me,

and nicole almost lives like 20 minutes away.

It was fun though :D

I also got to see my friends Kyle and Alex today,

and got some pictures with Alex.

I can't wait for Six Flags saturday,

and i'm not too sure what is going on with my friday night,

if i'm with my brother or at third friday,

but i'll find it when it gets closer to that time.

Goodnight whoever reads this <333

It's Almost As If I Was Waiting For This

My dad ruins everything.

He is the cause of my happiness,

he is the cause of my sadness.

he fucking controlls me.

and i hate it.

i hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it so fucking much.

Yesterday night in one word?

AMAZING.

It was so much freaking fun.

First,

Dylan came over,

and we played Wii Sports, until my brother got here, and he took us to the HARVEST FESTIVAL.

It was so much fun,

i have so many new pictures, and videos, it was hilarious.

Soooo many things happened too,

i finally got to hangout with Melissa NJ, in over a year!!!

That was alot of fun,

she hungout with all of my friends, but she got to know them fast,

the friends i hungout with mainly were....

Mark, Dylan, Melissa, Michelle, and Kim.

It was fun to hangout with Kim because, i never hungout with her before.

and Michelle, OMG, i'm so glad I saw Michelle.

I miss her ALOT

and if she had a soul,

she'd probably miss me too, LOL.

I met ALOT of people lastnight, i'm soooo glad.

Random people coming up saying "Are you JonJon from myspace??"

Things like that,

I was so happy.

GAHHHH

There is so many stories and stuff,

but I dont know where to begin,

or even if i should begin.

Just know that the harvest festival was amazing,

and i'm really glad I got to go to it. :)

My tooth hurts

So, i think i have a cavity on my tooth. It is hurting and aching so badly.

I am really hoping that tomorrow goes well.

Today went really really well.

Alysha came over, and we went to Spirit halloween store, and party city to look at the costumes. Then we decided to go to Sonic, and get Sonic Blasts, and we talked. 

If you dont know, Sonic always gives you a mint, and I put it in my mouth, and the cool sensation made my tooth hurt so bad that I immediately spit it out and just sat there and teared up. It hurt so freakin badly.

We came back home, hung out, played some wii, and then she left.

THENNNN, my brother's friends came over.

I had so much fun with them, they are a lot of fun, and i'm glad they did come over.

I cant wait to go to six flags with them next week, it's going to be great :)

Somehowwwwww everything's gonna fall, right into place.

If we only had a way to make it all, fall faster everyday.

So far, that's how it seems, and I hope it all does go to place.

I'm being distracted by Saturday Night Live,

so i am going to go.

My weekend plans are slightly up in the air,

one thing for sure

i'm chillin with amber saturday night, haha.

tomorrow, matt's party, and alysha is coming over.

Sunday, nothing.

Monday, hanging out with nicole :)

I dont really have much to say about today.

I'm glad my friend Candice opened up to me some more today,

she is really awesome,

and i dont think she knows it.

Her and her "boyfriend" are so cute together,

and she seems so happy.

I couldn't even help but just look at them and smile, they were so happy :)

aetiohjaethjae;thea;thaethjaeth

^that is for something that i want to say right now but can't.

I'm just going to make a list.

Well, today was interesting I guess.

School classes was boring.

but, lunch today in school was pretty entertaining, lolz.

I have a new vid from school lunch on myspace, but myspace is being dumb.

Abi and Maysie are dumb for not keeping up with their blog, and if they do actually read this, they should be ashamed.

My friend is getting into something that i'm not exactly happy of, it concerns me.

The harvest festival is in 3 days :)

I hope it doesnt rain at the harvest festival

Six Flags is like, 10 days, and i'm really super duper excited for that.

Alysha is hopefully coming over Friday, and i'm happy about that.

I have to drive to school tomorrow, and i'd really rather not,

but it should HOPEFULLY be an easy day.

English, and then math test, and then home.

Which reminds me, during my break, i need to do a math homework assignment,

and do two english journals before class,

and one must reflect the essay we are writing this weekend.

I think that's a strange/dumb word to use, "reflect".

"reflect how you feel on this"

"reflect this in your writing"

the word "reflect" makes me think of that song Reflection that Christina Aguilera that she sang for Mulan.

my english teacher says i use "that" and "things" too much in my writing.

I should remember that when writing my essay tomorrow.

I also have to redo my essay

Wow, i'm thinking alot

I'm so tired

Sleepy time now :)

goodnight.

Well today in English, we were going through some essays, and one of them really popped out to me. 

All this time, i have been jealous of what other friendships people have, and how they are closer than some of the ones i have, i am missing what i have right now. Like, even though, i'm not as happy as I was last year, or in May... This is what I have right now, and i shouldn't keep on looking how it can be higher, but looking at how at least things arent terrible, how i'm alive, and all is well so far (knock on wood). 

Things have been good lately so far I guess.

I can't wait for this weekend.

I really hope things turn out the way i planned.

"I'm looking for a place

I'm searching for a face

Is anybody here I know?

'Cause nothing's going right

And everything’s a mess

And no one likes to be alone.

...

It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life"

Something is wrong with me,

i can't stop listening to Avril Lavigne. 

I have math homework that i didn't do.

And i have a lot of plans, that hopefully wont fall through.

It'd really suck if they did.

I guess i dont have much to say.

Today I was really hyper, 

bought some masks,

and that's it.

So... yup

done.

So right nowww

I want to be with so many people right now,

but at the same time,

i want to be isolated from almost everyone.

it's so strange.

one thing is for sure,

I HATE BEING A SLAVE TO THIS COMPUTER

that is all i guess.

my ear infections still hurt really badly,

and i have class tomorrow.

i should go study for a test.

Sometimesss

Sometimes, I wish that for a day, I could just be soooo famous, on top of the world. I really want to know what it feels like.

Sometimes, i want to know what it'd be like if nobody knew me or really cared that much, and all I had was my family, and no drama.

I guess that's what I have to say for 3 days of not posting.

Both my ears are infected.

Swimmers Ear

and my canals are swollen.

My right ear is getting better,

my left ear is in so much pain.

I'm scared to take a shower.