Thursday, February 26, 2009

It's about time stress finally started to eat away at me...

My dad pressures me too much.
I have to get straight A's, or it's not good enough.
I bombed 3 tests today.
Psychology, Western Civ, and Math 094.
I still dont understand Math, and i've had two different people explain it to me.

I went home and hugged my had tonight and said "Give me a hug!" and he said "Why, did you get an A?"
His pressuring makes me do worse. 
If i don't get straight A's, my whole summer is cancelled.
I'll no lie think about claiming my life if that happens.
I'm waiting for summer....
76 days till i'm 18...
75 days till I go to New York...
I am stressed with school

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Random Update?

So right now, even though i have no service on my phone, I am going to attempt to do a blog for the sake of killing my battery. I got home from Tori's probably 30 minutes ago, and i am so dead tired. Right now I am laying in my bed probably almost (if not past) 2am. So disregard whatever time this was posted, because by the looks of it, i'm going to have to make this post in the morning. In the morning i have to go print out some stuff for my western civ class and i also have alot of quizes. I am really tired, so I guess this is all that I am going to say for now.

Monday, February 23, 2009

So today...

It was alright I guess.
It started off good. Then stayed good. Then went bad. Then got Good again. And then went bad again. But i'm trying to stay positive, and it was mainly good. I guess i'll just have to forget about the bad things and work on them. 

I am doing bad in math.
Every other course seems fine though.
I have a lot of studying to do tomorrow and some work to do.
I'll probably procrastinate until that night, which isn't good. 
I am really going to try to get it done.

Quick update!!

Apparently Holly City Family Center isn't "fucked". They are doing a show there again March 14th, and Fire in the Eyes of the City, Divide the Sky, and Bullets and Belvedere are going to play!
I'm pumped and can't wait! 3 weeks! And 79 days till my birthday!

School and beauty and the beast practice today.
I got to go change and get ready to go.
Bye :)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

This weekend...

Wow... Really really good. Friday Nicole and her friend Christina came over to play wii at my house. We had a lot of fun. Saturday was my first local show, which was pretty AMAZING. The only thing that sucked was that the last two bands didn't get to play, and I really wanted to see Fire in the Eyes of the City. They started playing, and then the people who worked at Holly City Family Center made them stop playing. I was so angry. Everyone started chanting "LET THEM PLAY, LET THEM PLAY, LET THEM PLAY." because they had a good 20 minutes to do songs before we had to leave, and the place wanted the place EMPTY by 10:30, not finishing at 10:30. So everyone was screaming how the venue was "fucked" and to never come here again. So I guess I saw the last local show at Holly City Family Center? Kinda sucks, but oh well. Hopefully I can start going to more local shows, they are so much fun. I really want to go to hangar 84, but my dad is uneasy about it, so the first time I go, i'll have to bring my brother. I might even go next weekend, i'm not sure, because Fire in the Eyes of the City is playing there, and I really wanted to see them. I'll have to ask my brother if he is up to it and also see who else is playing. 

After the show I went to Ryan's house and hungout with him, Scott, and Dylan. Did i mention Dylan went to the show with me yesterday? We are definitely going to go to more and more shows. I don't even know why I didn't go to a local show before this... They are pretty fun. 

There is a lot I could say about describing, but i am just going to stop now. I am watching my niece and she wants me to put something up for her. So I am going to go do that. I have homework to do tonight, and some chores, which sucks. Oh well though, that's college...

Friday, February 20, 2009

Busy

I've been pretty busy lately with school and Beauty and the Beast. Yesterday I got to hangout with Josh, Christina, and Nicole before I went to rehearsals. It was good, I never get to hangout with Josh. His dad gave me like a whole bunch of posters that I am going to hang up in the room, that's one of the best gifts ever, no lie.

Hmm... what else to talk about?
Tomorrow is my first local show. I'm seriously soooooo pumped for that. It's going to be really good. I really can't wait to see Fire in the Eyes of the City. They are probably my favorite band out of all the bands going to be there. Hopefully Kim can go to the show too, I never get to hangout with her. Dylan and me are probably going together, so he might hangout beforehand with me, I dont know. Wow, i'm using a lot of comma splices, oh well. 

I am starting to play Drums on Hard for Guitar Hero World Tour and Rockband 2. I'm proud of myself :) Now to work on expert and the nightmare songs :) Although, I did do one nightmare song on hard for drums. It was Give It All by Rise Against. I got all into it, I felt like a rockstar, thank God nobody else was in the room...

I am going to go now I guess.
I'll update later if I think of more things to say.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Long Weekend

Sorry I didn't get to update this all weekend. Things are finally settling down, and i'm sitting here typing this. I hungout the whole weekend with Nicole pretty much. There was no school today, so I just relaxed at home. There is a lot I could say about this weekend, but I kind of don't feel like talking about it. Not bad things, just things I don't feel like talking about. 

I drove by the new walmart. It is so freaking huge. A super walmart opened about 10 minutes from my house. I haven't gotten a chance to go in it yet.

I'm really dreading school tomorrow. I just have night class and then rehearsals for Beauty and the Beast, but I just feel so tired. I miss summer and winterbreak. 

Enough complaining I guess, i'll probably update tomorrow :)

Friday, February 13, 2009

Music

So tonight all I have been doing is listening to music and watching youtube videos of concerts. I wish I went to more concerts. There are so many going on around me, but my dad would never let me go, that's why I never ask. Monday I missed Drop Dead, Gorgeous playing 10 minutes away from my house. I was so freaking sad that I missed that show. They are one of my favorite bands. If I had the choice to see one band live, it would be that band. Oh well I guess, it's all done now. I'm hopefully going to a local show on the 21st, it will sadly be my first local show, but oh well. I am also hopefully going to Hangar 84 at the end of the month. If not, hopefully i'll go a lot this summer and after i'm 18. I really dont think my father is going to let me be 100% free, but hopefully he lets my leash go a little looser than before. I'm really trying to save up money for this summer so I won't have to work for him or beg for money to do things. I bet right now, I could spend ALL of my money (that I have now at least) on the first week of my summer. My dad offered me to do work for him over the summer, which would be yardwork and things like that, and I told him that i'd get back to him on that. I REALLY REALLY don't want to work for my father. His works lasts days, and long hours, and usually leaves me with a bad attitude. I have no idea how things are going to work. 89 days till my birthday... I believe 68 days till Beauty and the Beast?

That's all i have to say for now,
long weekend,
i hope everything goes according to plans

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Stage

It feels so good to be on stage again...
I've been sick lately, but it feels so good to be back on stage.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Crash my car through your window.

I can't wait to get my lip pierced, lolz. 
I took my countdown off of my myspace. I checked that clock too much, and it made time go by slower. Now I lost track of how many days till i'm 18. All i know is that I can't wait. 

Even though I was sick today, I feel that it went really well. Beauty and the Beast rehearsals was so much fun, and I know that it is going to continue to be fun. I made a new friend :D

Anyways, I guess that is all for now.
I am listening to Brand New.
DONT APOLOGIZE, I HOPE YOU CHOKE AND DIE.
omgggg such good lyrics.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

It still haunts me at times.

It was a dream
Why did it seem, like it was so real?
What did I feel that that made it so real?
It wasn't a dream.
It was all right in front of me. 
Did I misread signs?
Do I read between the wrong lines?
I dont think this will ever go away.

______________________________________
Don't ever bring that up, it's something that I felt like getting out.
Don't ask about it either, i'm not telling you.

Laying on the deck

So right now I am laying on my deck. My sister is laying on one of those big lawn chairs that is almost like a bed. My mom is sitting on a chair and playing with my niece. My dad is talking and attempting to move things and do work, just like he always does. My brother is walking around as if he is almost pacing. I’m listening to songs and thinking about summer. Right now it almost feels like summer. It’s only 54 degrees, but that is so warm compared to the 1 degree temperature we had last week in the nights. I really can’t wait for it to be summer. Even though I’m laying out here on the deck writing this and procrastinating this homework, I feel pretty damn good right now. Well, my dad kind of just now ruined it by saying “turn off your music and let’s listen to the sound of the wind” It’s not even my music, I was playing stuff I figured that they would like. It was Crazy by Aerosmith. (If I even spelled that right…)

 

            I can’t wait to go to Ocean City and Wildwood this summer. It’s strange though. Even though I have SO many friends, I really don’t feel like I get to hangout with them enough. I mainly only hangout with Scott and Nicole. I want to go with Nicole places and bring friends or meetup with friends, but we have no mutual friends. Then I started to think about all of my friends, and I feel like I really have barely an mutual friends. I have a lot of friends who are “cool” with eachother, but I don’t know if it’s cool enough to go chill at Wildwood or the beach for the day. I really hope I get a camera for my birthday. I never have any good pictures, they are always with my cellphone. Haha, I don’t even know why I brought that up. I guess it has to do with summer. I’m going to post this blog and then take my laptop upstairs to get started on some homework. We have oral reports due for history tomorrow, but he said that we are only going to do 4 people a day, and he is going to start from the top of the class list. (like reverse alphabetical order Z-A) But I am worried that maybe those people will absent, or he will decide to do more, and he’ll call my name, and I won’t have it done. We have to have a 10 minute oral presentation on any topic we chose from 1500BC to 1500 AD. I chose Cyrus the Great since I heard other people talking about it. I have no idea how to get up in class and talk for 10 minutes though. The material that I have on Cyrus the great right now could probably only cover 2 minutes. This is only my second semester in college, and I am not confident about a speech at all. I am completely dreading Western Civilization class for like 3 weeks. Speaking of classes, I think I have deemed my favorite to be English 102. It’s a pretty fun class, a lot of discussion. I feel really involved with the class, and we get into depth about things. Psychology is the stupidest class ever, and I hate how the teacher teaches it. He doesn’t write anything on the board, and I don’t know what is important and what isn’t. He talks and talks, but I can’t focus on him because it sounds like BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH  to me. Western Civ is a little bit better because he has powerpoints of what we should write down for tests and things. Math 94 is pretty stupid too. It’s hard to learn stuff because the guy is SOOO QUIET when he talks, so it is really hard to pay attention to him. I also have Writing for TV and Radio. I’m still not sure what to think about that class. It can be fun, but at the same time, the lady is too quiet when she talks, so it is hard to focus in that class also.

 

Wow, this is really long. I guess it’s easy to spill out what is on your mind.

Weirdest Dream

I had the weirdest dream lastnight.... I don't even know how to explain it. SO much stuff happened in it. I'm actually so glad to wake up and be me, and to everything to be "normal". I was almost kind of scared to wake up, because I was afraid that I would actually be living my dream. Everytime I would go back to sleep, the dream would just continue right where I left off. 

In other news, I believe that I am getting sick. It started friday night I think, I went to bed not feeling so good, and then as the day progressed Saturday, I still didn't feel up to par. 

Yesterday was pretty amazing. My dad bought a 54 inch plasma for the living room, so that means the 42 inch that WAS in my living room, is now in my bedroom :D. I'm so happy. He told me I can't play wii on the new TV, and the reason why he gave me the plasma is to play it upstairs and so nobody will fight over the TV downstairs anymore. I still need an HD comcast box, and to actually put comcast on my TV, but it will happen eventually probably. 

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Meow

Scott is over right now, and we have hungout a lot lately.
That's pretty much all what i have to say...
lol

I'll probably write more sunday or something

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Mobile Update... Since my internet is acting up...

Today kind of went faster than usual, which is good. I would say that today was actually a pretty good day for once. I didnt get the snow day i was wanting, but I still got my good time I guess. I met Scott for lunch at Taco Bell (which i would love to have another crunchwrap supreme right about now...) Then when I got home, I listened to music, myspace'd it up, things like that. Then Matt and Tori came home and we had dinner. Then after dinner we played Rockband2. Tori is a beast at the drums!!! She was doing songs on hard that i would have failed miserably on! The bass pedal always throws me off whenever i play. My phone is sooo slow at typing pic messages for some reason... Anyways, guess this is it for now. Sorry if there is any errors in typing this. I think i am ready for a new phone.


97 days till i'm 18!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Random Mobile Update???

I hope it snows all through the night so i dont have to go to school in the morning. I have so much trouble getting up in the morning. I guess that is it for now...

I feel like watching The Mist. It's a really good movie. =)

Black Rose Dying

That is the song i'm currently listening to by Bless the Fall. 

I am really hoping for a snow day tomorrow, but the snow is clearing up, so I am trying to prepare myself for being tired in the morning and disappointed. 

Lately I have been trying to think positive and look forward to turning 18. 98 days till I turn 18 by the way. I have it set in my head that it is going to be so good, and then someone told me how nothing is going to be different and stuff. It really pissed me off. I guess they are right, but it's the only thing I have to look forward to, that I am REALLY REALLY setting my eyes on, and for someone to crush it like that really sucks. I have no idea how things are going to turn out. But 98 days is too long for me. Too long. Can i make it?

Monday, February 2, 2009

Mobile Update.

I was going to update yesterday about how beautiful the weather was, and how my day went, but instead I did homework. I am trying to stay off the internet, it wastes my life. I'm sure i'll be on it by tomorrow, but I need to really restrict the time that I spend on it. It's not even all that fun anymore. I am so bored of it. There is seriously nothing new.

That's it for now, i'll update tonight or tomorrow

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Warmth.

When is it going to get warmer? I really miss the warm sunshine on my skin as I drive down the road with my truck. The windows down, the stereo pumped to 22 with heavy bass and screaming music. The wind blowing through my long hair, with my big sunglasses blocking it from my eyes. I miss summer. I didn't do much this summer, but the warm weather outside is just amazing. I felt like I wasted too much of it inside. It's so strange here in New Jersey. The winter is too cold to go outside, but the summer is too hot to go outside. I hope I find a balance this summer where I can wake up early, but not too early, like 10pm. I guess I could go to bed at 2am? That would leave a good eight hours for sleep. 

Right now Iris by Goo Goo Dolls just came on. I remember listening to this song when I was really little living in Connecticut. I haven't been there in over eight years. All I remember is that it was really pretty in the fall. All the leaves on the mountain looks really awesome.

I guess that is it for now.