"I'm half way there and it's all on me
This is what I get for wanting more, for wanting more
This is the way its got to be
Dancing on all these changes
So I walk around with this rope in my hand
So I'll tie it around and around, and around
I'll tie me down"
Tonight, i feel like the loser. The one who never wins. I'm not the only one that is probably sitting here in the world feeling like that, but it still sucks to feel this way. Lately i've been feeling indescribable. Its like bitterness with a pinch of nostalgia and a dash of confusion. There is ALOT of things on my mind right now. My sleep schedule is very messed up, and i have a horrible headache.
My interview today at Wawa went alright today, it would have went AMAZING if it wasnt for me being 17. If i was 18 i would have gotten the job. They needed alot of people for the midnight shift (Midnight to 7am), which i have no life, i was willing to work that, but you need to be 18 to do that. I wasnt upset, but i was very disappointed. I guess all i can rely on now is my College Work Study. I just dont want to be stuck at home. I hate sitting in front of this stupid machine, staring at a bright monitor sitting in the dark. I figured if i had college, college work study, a job at wawa, studying, and homework, i'd have things to do, and would be able to take my mind off of things. I have a feeling that my life isnt going to change much since when i quit school. I fear i'm going to be stuck here in my room by myself with my computer and my music.
I guess this is it for now. I'll update more tomorrow. I love whoever reads this :)
3 comments:
haha i read the whole thing! :]
you better feel better, just keep searching for a job...
I read it too (:
I hope things get better for you Jon Jon.
I don't think many of us like to sit home at our computers and worry about the future and wish for the past, it all gets a tad depressive.
Every thing's going to change and we might find ourselves thinking where did our lives go, where we truly are.
Just know, it'll get better, soon you'll have a nice job in whatever career path you take, maybe a nice house in a fancy neighborhood, who knows. Live a little, get out more often, even if it's a walk with someone (since the gas is expensive (: )
Who knows, make some more youtube videos. Anything to make yourself happy, no one deserves to be alone, and sad. It's just not a good combination.
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