70th Post

Today isn't over, but I can't help but to talk about it.

It was soooo much fun.

English was fun, i chatted on webcam with Hayley.

Then went to McDonalds with Candice,

and then came back and hungout with Melissa and Emily. 

After that I had Math, and basically just txted people all class.

Then i drove to scott's, and we went to Toys R Us, and played Guitar Hero 4.

It was alright I guess, i liked it. I played the drums, so it took some getting use to.

After that we got Scott a mask, and we went back home and hungout

I guess I am leaving stuff out,

but just know it was fun,

and i hope it stays this fun alllllll weekend. :)

Today

I feel like writing alot,

but at the same time,

i'm so exhausted and would rather just chill out and go to bed.

today was...

a mixture of

homework

with a dash of happiness

with a dash of schoolwork,

with a dash of tacobell and laughter,

and a dash of being worried with fear,

and a dose of laughter

hunger,

and a sprinkle of being hyper,

and a splash of fun.

there.

that was my day :)

:D

So today was uber cold and rainy. I got assigned a new essay, which I dont mind, because it is a contrast essay. I chose to contrast Metal music to Country music, so it should be easy. I skipped my freshman seminar class. I HATE that class so much. I didnt do any of the work, so i'll just turn it in the day after tomorrow and apologize to him for not making it. Instead of going to class, Candice and I went to the mall. I got a new shirt, and i got Alysha's present. I hope she isnt expecting something huge, i just know it's something that she wanted. I might get her a card or something too. Money is so tight with my family these days! So after the mall, we went back to college and I went to my math class. We waited, and waited. My math teacher didn't show up after fifteen minutes so we all signed a paper saying that she didnt show up, and we left. I came home and played some wii sports with my brother, and then i hungout on my laptop for a while. My sister txts me and says to go to pizza hut with her, so I did. When we got there, the lady walks up to the table and says "Hey Ladies! OH GAWD, YOU ARE A BOY, I AM SO SORRY. ONE TIME I GOT MY HAIR CUT, AND EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS BOY, AND OMG!!" she felt really bad, and fucked up our order each time, but she was still really nice. Everyone has their days. So after that, my sister talked with me in the car and said that if i be Jeffree Star for Halloween, she would pay for everything. I agreed, since I didnt have any money for a costume. She drove to shoprite, and I talked to Alysha in the car on my phone. I also played I Spy with my niece. After that, my sister goes to the halloween store, and starts buying jeffree star stuff. Fake eyelashes, and a pink wig, and tattoo sleeves. We also went to the other halloween store to get stuff, and ohai, now i am here. :)

I guess that is it.

My brother is making us go to school early since he has to be there early. It doesn't bother me, i like getting out of the house. I'll update tomorrow night probably :)

Thoughts Came Into My Head?

Times are seeming brighter, at least when the sun is up.

I feel there is darkness creeping up.

One, Two, Three friends gone.

All my fault.

Times are almost returning to how they were last year.

Which is scary.

I hate this feeling.

I almost cannot describe it.

It makes me want to almost run away.

I call it the emptiness.

It is starting to creep into me again.

I really dont want that.

Tonight i "mouthed off" to my father,

and I really bad for it.

He asked me like three times if this dance i'm going to in december is a "School Sponsored Event" and I sarcastically said "No, it's a drunken party in the woods" and he picked up a stapler, and almost threw it at me. Then he charged at me, like he was going to kick me, and I curled up in a ball and braced myself. He didnt. He walked and got the phone. He then walked away and said "You piss me off? You'll see what will happen. You're not 18 yet, I can still be in your business." So now I see something in my future being cancelled for mouthing off. This whole "Being 18" is probably going to be not what I expected. I expect me to go get my ears pierced and my lip done. But now that I think about it, I know that's not going to happen. I'm sure by then that i'll get enough money to do it and stuff, but i'm still going to be living under my parents roof, and everything that is mine, really is there's. The car, the house, my computers, everything is technically there's. If i came home like that, they'd take away everything. 

I still feel really bad for mouthing off to my dad... He wont even let me apologize to him. I hugged him and said "I'm probably going to bed soon, i love you" and he just doesn't hug me back and says "no you don't." That really hurt, but i'm sure that I hurt him too. Fuck my freshman orientation homework, my eyes are so dry right now.

When will I ever be free?